Talking About Important Things

It's been just over two weeks since I was in that auto accident and one week since recovering from a gnarly bacterial infection (I'll spare you the details save to point out that when the doc prescribes the highest dose of antibiotics and coma-inducing barbiturates, you know you've got something vicious running around inside you). Normalcy is still nowhere near my peripheral vision, and yet I can't deny that I've got it easy.

I don't generally get too personal when writing online but I've decided to break with tradition because, well, I feel like it and I need to find a way to start writing online again, a transition. I've noticed/discovered/learned several things over the past weeks, most of which have appeared to me in question form, and mentioning them seems to be a good way to get back into writing about the things going on outside of my own life. The stuff circulating through my brain these days includes but is not limited to:

• When I think "how much worse it could have been," am I belittling the experience of those who are, say, paralyzed? Am I effectively saying, "I could have ended up like them, god forbid"? That seems both rude and ignorant to me. And yet I feel enormously lucky.
  
• Why has western medicine still not integrated elements of yoga and other eastern practices into the treatment process?
• Why do people think it's okay to do things other than drive when they're behind the wheel?
  
• How can I make Roughstock a profitable business that ultimately serves the interests of the whole, not the few?
  

I think mortality and death are beautiful phenomena, because they strip away the bullshit so that we can see "what really matters" (an ephemeral, constantly changing collection of things). My late uncle, conversely, is fondly remembered for having paid close attention to the details of life: colors, textures, pauses, shared words. I think the details allowed him to overlook the terminal illness he lived with for years. He knew he was going to die but not when; why worry about the big stuff when there are beautiful things to marvel at and words to string together in new ways?

All of which is to say, you can feel two different emotions, believe two opposing things, at the very same time. So I'm going to start writing online again, with no promise that my words will be relevant or on time. I'm just going to do a little exploring, throwing ideas out there. Let me know if anything resonates, or ticks you off.

Best,
Jess